Trapped Together
by herschism
Summary: Zim and Dib are OMG trapped together in a cave! ZADR Co-Written by Gothic-Dib! WILL NEVER EVER BE COMPLETED.
1. Field Trip!

Notes: Hello all! I'm Mali, co-writer and producer of this fic. This is was Co-Written and directed with one of my bestest online friends, XGothic Dib. She's COOL. Uh.. Yeah. Anyway, this was roleplayed in script fashion, but since banned that, I've decided to turn it intoooooooooooo AN ACTUAL STORY! YAY!   
  
This takes place when Zim and Dib are in Hi-Skool. (How Original!)  
  
More stuff to tell you? Lemme think. Uh....... I dunno.   
  
Disclaimer: Me and Mary own NOTHING. NOTHING AT ALL. We's poor Cali girls. (And if you think we're like those new barbies, I'll personally cut off your head)  
  
The bell rang, initiating the beginning of the first class of skool. For whatever reason, Ms Bitters followed them into Hi-Skool, for ALL of their classes. Don't ask how, she just did. Anyway, it was a cold day, the clouds gray, causing our favorite alien invader to twitch involuntarily. Oh yeah, everyone from their old class is in this one. Why? BECAUSE WE SAY SO THAT'S WHY!  
  
"Stupid miserable earth weather conditions." He muttered to himself. By this point in time, the class had gotten used to his strange rantings and ignored him.  
  
After everyone had gotten out their supplies, Ms Bitters stood up and floated around the class like some sort of spectre. "Today, even though no permission slips or any kind of notification has been sent, you kids are going to the mountains for three days and you have to provide your own crap. Prepare for cold you flithy children."  
  
The class was about to cheer at the idea of three days of screwing around in snow, when Dib burst in the door, huffing and panting due to his out of shape but still skinny body. "Hold on!" He gasped. "We can't go to the mountains today!"  
  
Poonchy was quick on the scene. "Why Dib? Aliens take a piss up there and you have to study it?"  
  
Snickers were heard all around the room, sharp and cruel. The loudest of them coming from Zim. Dib glared at them and continued talking after rolling his eyes at the orangey haired teen. "Of course not! We can't go because... there's a heavy snow storm. But it's no NORMAL snow storm! I'm sure it's really that YETI who's concocting it!" In the midst of his lunaticisms, a cucumber was thrown at his meaty head.  
  
Ms Bitters was ignoring the class and still droning on. "...But it doesn't matter, even if you freeze to death, you'll eventually die, horribly, and you'll suffer."  
  
By this time, Zim fell out of his chair laughing that horrible Richard Horvitzy laugh, tears flowing down on his face. "You're just being cowardly Dib human, such stupid creatures are only fake... image... thingies in your head!"  
  
Apparently Zim laughter was as far as Ms Bitters would go as to letting her class go out of control. "SHUT UP. We leave... now!" She hissed.  
  
All the kids got on to the bus, and headed to them cold snowy mountains. 


	2. Things Jammed Up Holes!

THE STORY SO FAR  
  
All the school kids just went on the bus for a surprise field trip.  
  
AND THEY JUST REACHED THEIR DESTINATION.  
  
The bus ride was fairly uneventful, except for the scene with a moose, a teacup, and a very disgruntled hitchhiker and even that was pretty normal. When they arrived, they looked up at the mountains, looming and omnious over their heads.  
  
Since this field trip was a surprise, no one had brought proper clothing, and now were shivering and rubbing their arms frantically in an effort to keep then warm. One child then had a brilliant idea for warmth then.  
  
"Let's all throw stuff at Dib!" Sara cried, getting ready to fling a flithy mud ball with gravel in it for extra pain.  
  
At the sound of this, Dib prepared for stuff throwing without wincing, he was an expert at this since this sort of thing has happened for years to him.  
  
Our favorite green boy sighed after jumping off, his long sleeved Invader uniform keeping him warmer than the others. "That's getting boring now, stink child. How about we jam things up holes inside him? That should be more painful." He grinned at the idea of causing Dib pain, not really getting what he was implying.  
  
Dib winced. "Zim, that's just sick."  
  
Confused at Dib's use of the word sick, Zim responded. "Eh? Flithy Dib human, I am of perfect health, however, you are looking even more ugly than usual"  
  
"That's a LIE!" Dib growled as he scratched a pimple on his face, poor boy, big head AND acne. "Okay, that's it! I've had enough!" He grabbed Zim's slim wrist and tried pulling him out somewhere more secluded so they could fight without the kids chanting in a circle around them. It always made him nervous.  
  
Zim wrenched his hands free. "DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME!" He shrieked in his girly but still almost manly voice. This brought unwanted attention upon them, the very thing Dib was not hoping for.  
  
"We knew it!" One of the stupider teens yelled.  
  
"I am NOT!" Dib insisted.  
  
Being not so familar with Earth sexual innuendo, Zim looked around confused. "Eh, what's going on?"  
  
Dib started panicking. It was strange, but lately, crowds have been worse than ever. He felt like he was drowning in them. He wanted attention, but all the attention he had ever gotten was negative. And until that changed, Dib felt like crowds focusing on him was worse than that time Zim caught him and tried to take off his clothes to do a full body search for weapons.  
  
He felt their eyes boring into them, he couldn't take it anymore. He grabbed Zim's wrist, got ready to run, and sprinted away into a cave. The kids apparently weren't all that interested in following the weird kids so they muttered some insults and went back to the buses to find out instructions.  
  
Struggling, Zim yelled all sorts of things while being dragged by Dib, mostly consisting of, "LET GO!" "I AM ZIM!" "AMAZING!" "FLITHY HUMAN!" and last but not least "BIG HEAD!"  
  
Once they were deep enough in the cave, Dib let go of Zim and sighed. "Finally, they're gone. Okay, look ZIM." Dib heavily accented Zim's name as if it were something flithy and disgusting. "Don't think I didn't plan to rid of you here on this lame excuse for a field trip."  
  
Zim yelled unnecessarily. Why? Because he's ZIM for Christ's sake! "I KNEW IT! YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME! THE AMAZING ZIM!"  
  
"Oh, MUCH worse than THAT, Zim" Dib said in his Dibbish way. He reached into his pocket, and pulled out a vial of a green liquid, and screwed off the cap. The liquid was a hideous glowing green and had a slightly acidic smell to it.   
  
"What is that?" Inquired Zim, the curious fool.  
  
"Wouldn't you like to know." Replied Dib, the weirdo teen who liked smirking.  
  
"...Is it to rid yourself of those ugly red blemishes that have been appearing on your HORRIBLE face lately?" Zim asked.  
  
Dib started laughing evilly, and swiftly splashed it over Zim's sickly green head. "HAVE SOME O DIS!"   
  
Zim shrieked and then suddenly stopped. "AGHHHHH- Wait, ZIM IS UNHARMED!"  
  
The big headed male felt his jaw drop. "UNHARMED?! Bu- wha-... It was guaranteed to work! GUARANTEEEEEED-UH! " He shook his fist in the air, all DRAMATIC LIKE!  
  
Zim's antennae rose suddenly, knocking off his wig. "Dib Monkey, do you feel that?"  
  
Dib looked down from his melodramatic prose and lowered his arm. "...Yeah it feel like... OH CRAP! IT'S AN AVALANCHE!" He heroically jumped and tackled Zim, moving both of them just far away enough from the sudden snow fall to keep them from getting smothered.  
  
Although safe, Zim was not happy. The position he was in... was not very comfortable, and it didn't help that a part of the Dib he knew was there (from Sex-Ed videos Ms Bitters made them watch) was right above him. "Get... off... of... me... stinkbeast." Zim gasped, as he also lost all the air he held in his irken equivilent to lungs in that flying tackle.  
  
Realizing the position both of them were in, Dib blushed and rolled off of Zim.  
  
Coughing, Zim managed to get out. "Never... do... that... again." This was followed with some unpleasant hacking sounds.  
  
Dib growled. "I just saved your life you jerk!" Clutching Zim's arms, he pushed Zim to a wall. "So you shu-" He stopped suddenly looking open mouthed at the exit. "Crap."  
  
The exit had been blocked in with hard packed, cold snow. 


	3. Flesh Tentacles Live in Pants!

THE STORY SO FAR! Zim and Dib get stuck in a cave.   
  
Zim and Dib stared at the pile of snow and ice blocking the cave hole, making it impossible for them to leave. Zim broke the silence (cuz he's amazin'!) with a loud cry of, "NOOOOOO! I'm stuck in... this flith hole... WITH YOU?"  
  
After sneering back at Zim, Dib thought about his options and his eyes wandered over the dark cavern. For some reason, Dib's eyes saw in the dark fairly easily, and much better than he saw in the day. He pointed down the cavern walls. "This cave has a path through it. You just... have to cooperate with me!"  
  
Zim's alien eyes required lots of light and could not see in the dark nearly as well as Dib's freaky ones. Sensing a trap, Zim sat down on some conviently placed rocks. "That tunnel is probably highly unstable and is not safe for exploring. Zim is placing his ass here and will not budge!"  
  
"Well, 'Dib' says that we should continue on. Unless you were a stupid space freak who would rather die in the middle of nowhere." snarled the soon to be bishie boy. (He just needed a couple of years, and birth control pills)  
  
"Dib is a mor-ran" retorted Zim, further making a mockery of the English language. "A mor-ran that has a flesh tentacle under his pants." Zim was busy plotting the demise of humans when the sex ed classes came, so he payed a full five minutes on actually listening to the teachers, which was the only reason he knew that there would be such a thing in any person's pants. The reason he even used it in the sentence was that he had heard synonyms for that thing as insults in the hi-skool building.  
  
Dib rolled his eyes. "You don't even know what the hell a flesh tentacle is."  
  
Zim looked around nervously. "Eh... of course I do! It's for uh... FINE STINKBEAST. Maybe I don't know, but you seem eager to explain!"  
  
Feeling a flush work up his face, Dib looked away and felt his voice squeak out "HAH. Eager?! I would never let you know!  
  
Zim turned toward the sound of Dib's voice and asked curiously, "...What's wrong with your freakish human chords?"  
  
"Nothing" Dib's voice squeaked yet again, as puberty seemed to hate this boy. He then shook his head and said in his normal voice, "Enough of this nonsense... let's go."  
  
Zim stared at the dark tunnels waringly, and shivered. "No! I will not go!"  
  
Looking into Zim's twitchy eyes, Dib felt a something crawl up his spine. The alien he hated, lusted after, and despised... had shown weakness to him... almost voluntarily. The idea that Zim may not be all bad deep down made him quiver. "...There's nothing to worry about. It's better than to just wait for nothing."   
  
Zim stood up and rubbed his arms. "Fine Dib-Stink."  
  
Dib smiled to himself, he had won this battle. "Okay, now, let's get out of this.... TOGETHER."  
  
The small Irken felt his muscles pull into a grimace. "...I hope this does not involve super glue like the last thing we did together, IT WAS VERY ANNOYING." 


	4. Trapdoors and Ditch Coats!

THE STORY SO FAR! Dib and Zim have decided to cooperate and not kill each other while stuck there.   
  
Dib and Zim travelled deeper in the cave, searching for a way out. A quick tremor rolled beneath them in a bad attempt to create plot. "What was that?" Dib looked around for an answer, but all he got was a loud squeeking noise and a sudden weight on Dib's right leg. Looking down, he found a Zim wrapped around his mid thigh, looking franticially everywhere for the causing of ground movement.  
  
Without thinking, Dib did the fucking weirdest thing ever, attempted to comfort the alien groping his leg. "There, there" He murmured while he stroked Zim's disguiseless head.  
  
This woke up Zim from his panick (when you add an unnecessary k, you know the story sucks), and he latched himself away from the Dib leg. "DON'T YOU TOUCH ZIM!"  
  
"You touched me first" replied Dib with his rightous indignation.  
  
The Irken menace's features flared with the heat of his denial, what ever that means. "Your flithy human head imagines things!"  
  
Dib glared at Zim, opened his mouth, and then realized something. Zim seemed paler, his eyes not sparkling with the usual tang.   
  
As if on cue, Zim shuddered. "It's getting colder human."  
  
Concern washed over Dib's brain, diluting his hate for the little alien, and strengthening the LUST DEEP INSIDE HIS... Oh yeah. Anyway, concern made Dib stupid. "You... really look a bit below the weather, Zim."  
  
"How can I be under the weather, I am underground earth stink!" snapped the irritable invader. (A/N: Snerk, giggle, chortle)  
  
Dib sighed, his sense of justice kicking out all of his other emotions, and shed his glorious trenchcoat, and handed it to Zim. "Here, put it on"  
  
Zim slapped the coat as if were something like a bad dog or a cheating husband. "I do not need your flithy coat" sneered Zim. "It smells of YOU."  
  
Co-Author Mary ordered Monster Dib to perform counter. "So? You'll freeze to death out here anyway. I mean, c'mon, what kind of superior race dies for being trapped inside of a cave? Don't get pathetic. Wear it."  
  
"Fine!" Zim snatched Dib's coat rudely. "I'll wear your stinkin ditch coat!." On Zim, the coat was WAY too big. Like... three trillion sizes too large.  
  
Some snickers escaped Dib's mouth as he stared at the smothered alien. "I don't even know why I'm helping YOU out. All right, let's go."  
  
They turned and headed deeper in the dark, dank cave. Ooh spooky.  
  
Another shiver crawled up Zim's spine. This place was so very cold, and the cave walls were shadowy. What's more, his PAK was overriden with data, and was alerting him that his time had come. Oh why couldn't have it waited till they got back to Irk? WHY? And why did the Dib have to be there? But... the only thing to do was to overcome obstacles. The mission depends on it.  
  
The duo continued on for some time in silence, until a loud shrieking noise caused them to stop. Dib raised his arm in front of Zim to protect him from the danger automatically, as he had always wanted to protect a female in his life and Zim was probably the closest thing to a girl Dib was ever going to get to anyway. "WAIT-WHAT-WUZZAT?!" Dib yelled, making it clear to everyone he obviously forgot to take his medication that morning.  
  
There was a loud howl, and Dib found himself holding an extra fifty pounds in his arms. He looked down and saw a shuddering Zim whom had jumped in his arms in a fit of fear and comic hilarity. "DON'T LET TOUCH ZIM!!" Yelled the paranoid invader.  
  
After staring at Zim for a second, Dib dropped him rudely onto the ground and took out his camera. "It must be that Yeti!"  
  
Rubbing his ass, Zim glared at Dib and regained his senses. "You are simply imagining things Dib-Worm."  
  
"Am no- GAHHHH!!" Unexpectedly, as no one would expect a trapdoor to be hidden in a cavern somewhere in the mountains, a trapdoor opened beneath Dib and quickly vanished as soon as his meaty big head was seen no more. And the paragraph was all horribly all inconsistant, but the editor is too lazy to care.  
  
Zim looked down where the trapdoor was. "Dib-human?" And was only greeted with silence. 


	5. 4440 0573R 111

  
  
Last Episode, DIB DISAPPEARED FOR PLOT AND WRITER'S CONVINENCE. WHAT WILL OUR IRKEN INVADER DO NOW?  
  
Our favorite boner inducing sex magnet Irken INVADER (snerk, giggle) was in a dilemna. Which we cannot spell. His bestest enemy, the Dib had been swallowed up by a magic trap door. In a fit of panic, Zim yelled the first thing his PAK came up with. "WHY WASN'T YOUR BIG HEAD BIGGER SO IT'D GET STUCK WHILE DROPPING DOWN THE DOOR IN THE FLOOR THINGIE?"  
  
It didn't sound very smart. And it also alerted something horrible to where Zim was. Something... HORRIBLE. And also completely random. Anyway, it jumped out from behind a boulder and yelled. "OOGA BOOGA BOOGA!"  
  
Zim screamed Courage-esquely and pointed at the fur-beast dramatically. "DON'T GET NEAR ME FUR-BEAST FILLED WITH AVACADO!"  
  
"GRRAWRGH EEERGH GEOOOOO." replied the Thing which hacked up avacado strangely enough.  
  
Zim stopped screaming to stare at the avacado bits for a moment. Time seemed to stop and all that happened was avacado staring. Then Zim remembered what the hell was going on and started screaming again. Backing up in horror, he accidently pushed on the wall he was against and fell down to his dooooooooooom all the while screaming, "(UR53 J00 )18!!1111"  
  
Surprisingly, the land wasn't painful, but the swift kick to the stomach Zim recieved hurt enough for two painful landings. "AUGH. Zim, get off!" Dib whimpered. "Uhn..." He held up his heavy head as if he just woke up from a painful sleep. "Has... anything happened?" he asked Zim.  
  
The Zim glared at the Dib while clutching his hurt SUPERIOR stomach area and yelled unnecessarily again. "A FLITHY HAIR BEAST ATTACKED ME... AND IT SPAT OUT AVACADO!"  
  
All Zim recieved was a weirded out look. "... And people call me crazy. Hey, what's that over there?" A finger was pointed ever so steady toward a darkened area.  
  
"I do not know" was Zim's ever so snooty reply.  
  
"... Fine. I'll find out myself." Briskly Dib kicked himself up and made his way toward the shadows, strutting all macho and  
  
stuffs. What a boner head. I mean bone head. I mean, oh never mind! This just an excuse to up the word count in this chapter.  
  
While the boy wonder's ass moved as he walked almost effeminately, the mostly pure eyes of the magenta eyed Irken never left their swaying movement. And then, Zim felt his temperture and blood pressure drop again, making him dizzy and tired. "Hurry up Dib human!"  
  
Glancing behind paranoidly, Dib yelled, "Will you be quiet? GEH!" he batted at some cobwebs that decided his hair was a good home.  
  
Looking up from his ass watching to seeing his archnemesis fight cobwebs amused Zim. And he let Dib know with his maniacal laughter, which was interupted with a lot of coughing.  
  
The muscles in Dib's face contorted into a frown and than changed to an awestruck oh when he saw a lever. "Hey! What's this?" Lacking common sense, Dib went and pulled on the lever (hehehe...), which thrusted him backwards straight into Zim. The room started changing and taking a look which obviously wasn't natvie to this planet.  
  
You could barely hear Zim's muffled screams from having the Dib's sudden weight upon him. He was all squisheded. Who says squisheded isn't a word? WELL IN THIS FIC IT IS!  
  
Once the pressure in the room calmed and it was normal, Dib fell, and rolled on the ground. He started grabbing things aimlessly so he could get up. What he grabbed was Zim. And what Dib received instead of the sexual healin' he needed was a nice big slap from a panting Zim. No you pervs, he wasn't panting because of that, when you've had a tall teenage male fall on top of you, it's going to knock out your air, no matter how skinny he is. "FLITHY... DIB MONSTER..."  
  
By this time, Dib's acne plagued face was red as santa's suit. "WHAT!? I couldn't get up!" And then his face went from embarassed, to amazed, his mouth hanging open in awe. "... WOW. It's a- it's a- .... hey! It kinda looks like your underground base."  
  
A quick look around the scenery and Zim made a snorting noise, even though his face was still noseless."Pitiful hyuman. It is not NEARLY as great as Zim's base."  
  
Always having to challenge Zim, Dib argued. "Are you kidding? This is way better than yours! I mean, do you have a tank full of bubbling goo? Well? Do you?"  
  
"Yes. I put you in it once."  
  
"But that was techinically in space" Ah... The struggle for dominance between males.  
  
"And your head is always up your flithy earth hole." Getting the upper hand in the fight, Zim sneered.  
  
"Don't you think that's a bit obscene?" Dib had lost interest in this fight and started observing the now apparently ruined lab. His eyes wandered back to Zim, and the Irken was getting worse physically it seemed. Zim's once bright emerald skin and dulled down into a sickly pale green. Bags started to form under the Irken's eyes, which was strange because through his research, Dib had figured out Irkens needed no sleep.  
  
The alien shivered. "It's getting colder Dib."  
  
With a touch of concern barely hidden from his face, Dib frowned at the green skinned menace. "Um. Well... I'm not too sure how to get out of here..."  
  
"Figure it out, you got us in here!" Despite his yelling, Zim moved closer to the Dib thing because of the heat his big head was radiating.  
  
"Um..." Shifting himself away from Zim, Dib tried as hard as he could to look inconspicuous while doing so:: Two brains are better than one, Zim! We must work together on this!"  
  
"US? WORK TOGETHER? COMBINING INTO ONE? Flithy Dib human, get those perverse imaginings of your big head out. It simply will not work." Once again, Zim did not realize what he was insinuating. How predictable. What a stupid guy.  
  
Standing there with a questioning look at Zim, Dib tried to figure out whether Zim knows what he's implying or not. "Oh, c'mon! Would you rather freeze to death down here?! Fine, just fine! If  
  
that's the way you so choose, then stay!" And with that, Dib marched off through possibly the darkest opening. 


End file.
